Pat and Trent go to Nashville

In June I had to go to Nashville to pick up my Tennessee Press Association award for sports photography. Sadly this was a couple of weeks after I had lost my sports editors job when the Volunteer times folded up the tent. Seeing as he had also lost his job and had nothing else going on Trent decided it would be fun to ride to Nashville with me. We decided that it would be fun to spend the first evening of our trip in Cookeville. We figured even though it was summer that it was still a college town and neither of us had really sampled what Tennessee Tech had to offer. Fortunately my friend Becca was living there so we decided to impose upon her.
We started the trip with a stop at the big pool in Oak Ridge. Our buddy Josh was a lifeguard there and I have to say some of the hottest lifeguards I have ever seen worked there. After enjoying the eye candy we were off to Cookeville.
When we got to Cookeville Becca came and met us and took us to her friend Leslie’s apartment. We checked Leslie’s supply of booze and decided we could just drink on her ample supply without having to buy our own. Leslie was babysitting when we first arrived so we were as well behaved as possible. We went to Chilli’s to eat and then mercifully we sent the small child on its way home. We headed back to Leslie’s apartment to begin the drinking festivities.
As the drinking got underway Leslie told us of her previous relationship. Apparently her ex-boyfriend actually took her bed when he moved out. The girls also decided to call their friends Feltch and Booble to come drink with us. Leslie began making us PGA strawberry daiquiris to start the evening off. Feltch and Booble showed up with some bad light beer. These guys were entertaining in a Silver Age comic’s kind of way. I had never actually heard people use terms like golly gee wilikers and oh snap in real conversation before. I wanted to smack them both and say, “for shit sake you fuckers are in mother fucking college. Learn to curse properly you no talent assclowns.” Instead I decided discretion was the better part of valor seeing as we were drinking their friend’s liquor. The kicker of the evening was when Leslie’s ex, the bed stealer, called and got upset that there were guys over at her place. Seeing as Leslie apparently has great self-esteem she agreed to leave with him. After Self-Esteem Girl departed with Bedstealing Asshole Becca took us back to her place to pass out. Trent got the extra bedroom and I got the fold out couch in the living room. Trent tried to convince me to sleep naked to give Becca’s roommates a treat when they got home.
The next morning we headed to our state’s lovely capital to retrieve my award. If you like country music the trip to Nashville is paradise as far as radio stations are concerned. Unfortunately for me I really hate country music. We found one decent rock station on the way up, unfortunately they played a song by Yes for 20 minutes and it was fucking terrible. After navigating all of the roadwork we made it to the hotel where the convention was taking place.
Things got surreal when we first walked into the hotel as there was a Chet Atkins convention going on. I found the banquet hall and Trent went exploring. I was well behaved during the event seeing as everybody there was a potential employer. Trent had no such worries and even found a name badge identifying himself as the editor of the Covington Journal-Leader. He hit several buffets and then found the pool. He walked around the hotel til he found an open room and grabbed some towels. He then went out to the parking lot and changed into his swimming trunks in front of horrified onlookers.
The trip home should have been easy but as most of you know things are rarely easy with us. We noticed one of my tires was low so we went and aired it up. I was in need of new tires because the Patmobile’s previous owner had no concept of tire rotation, but I figured they would last me til the fall. We dropped the top and headed back to Caryville. About ten miles outside of Crossville we saw clouds. It was my experience that as long as we were moving we wouldn’t get wet. This is true in a light rain but not a downpour. By the time we got the top up we were soaked. This was no big deal for Trent since he was still in his swimming attire. It sucked for me as I was still in my banquet clothing. We checked the tire that had been low and it looked fine so once again we were off. The other shoe dropped about two miles away from Crossville when the tire that had been low earlier blew out. Trent was kind enough to put the donut on since he was more dressed for it. As most of you know nothing is ever that easy with me and my car actually fell off the jack when we got the bad tire off. We eventually made it to Crossville for some new tires and managed to make it the rest of the way home without incident.