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An Odd Party/Rosemary

Well, this story has a few different levels. I have been to several interesting parties at ETSU, this may have been the most interesting. It involved a lot of drinking and a beast of a girl trying to molest Joe. I'm not talking a beast as in big, but she didn't need makeup for Halloween. Well, the day started with us running to get some food at White's, then going to rent a movie at the video store next door. Since there were going to be women at the party the guys wouldn't let me get Lesbian Enema Lover's. Instead they got some European erotica called, Tie me up, Love me down. After a quick stop at the liquor store we were set. I'm not even sure what apartment we were at. I'm not even sure we were invited, but we showed up anyway. It was a pretty big apartment, it had 3 bedrooms, and a fairly large living room area. I started off with some Jaeger. Some other people started to show up, and then one of the ugliest girls I have ever seen comes in with her friend. This girl is snow white, with black almost afro like hair. She has a very large nose, and wears bottle cap lenses for glasses. I'm thinking if I had a keg maybe. Another guy from Taylor dorm, Dan Ensor said, If no one would find out, I'd sleep with her. I'm not the pickiest guy in the world, but I think Dan had me beat by a lot.
We found out this girls name was Rosemary. Pretty name, fugly girl. Well, the evening proceeded well. It was about 10 guys, and 17 girls there. You have to love those odds. Al put in Tie me up, Love me down, and it was in French, and had sub-titles. It probably would have been better if I had a hit of Acid, but I had to watch it anyway because it was so bizarre. Al, kept saying, Worthless, there's no penetration. Worthless! He soon left and started a quarter fight with Rodney. Yes, the same Rodney lightbread made friends with in Chad's Party. They went though a phase they would flip quarters at each other at high velocitys. Joe was coming in from the kitchen as a quarter was flipped and took it right in the eye. Joe then picked up a chair and threw it at the perpetrator. I decided to walk upstairs and check out the rest of the apartment. Two of the rooms were locked, and the last bedroom was unlocked, so I stepped in. There was this girl on the bed with a Doberman on a leash? She was in all her natural beauty. It was like a dream come true until she asked me to leave and lock the door. Sure honey. Have fun with your Doberman. I told you this was an interesting party. I heard some screaming in the next room over. It sounded like someone was being beaten and shocked. They kept saying, Yes, mistress. I decided to walk back down stairs.

There I found Joe, Al, and Rodney wrestling and just in general beating on each other. At one point Joe was wrestling Rodney, and Al jumped off the couch and kneed Joe in the head. As usual Joe just shrugged it off and attempted to hit Al in the balls. Pretty much par for the course. Before long one of the hosts had started hurling so we drug him to the closet. Well, at least we wouldn't have to walk through his hurl this way. Another guy who was totally wasted started sticking his hand in a 30 gallon aquarium. I don't know if they guy realized it, but the fish that was in the aquarium was a piranha. They guy was here fishy, fishy, trying to get the piranha to take a pretzel? Well he started poking it and what do you know it bit him. Hell, he practically put his finger in the poor fishes mouth. This pissed the guy off. He started grabbing until he got the fish out, and bit off part of it's tail. It managed to squirm out of the guys hand back into the tank. The guy still wasn't happy. He tried to grab the piranha again, but it proved to fast. So, the guy looks at the cup he's drinking, and dumps the beer on the carpet. Next he starts shoveling cups of water from the aquarium onto the carpet. Well, it's not my place, who am I to deny someone a good time. Plus, it was funny as hell. He finally managed, after dumping out half the tank, to get the piranha in his cup. He then puts it on a plate and throws it in the microwave for about 10 minutes. To be honest it smelled pretty damn good.

The party went on, and I had fallen asleep on the couch. I woke up around 4:00 A.M., and Joe is asleep on the floor about 10 feet away. I noticed Rosemary crawling up to Joe and kind of layed across him and started unbuttoning his shirt. Joe wakes up, screams, then does rolls away and is in a crouching position. Rosemary is taken aback. Joe they says, What were you doing? I'm going to have to get a rabies shot. Yes, Joe was brutally honest. She then went to I guess the bathroom to cry. Hell, she's lucky Joe didn't punch her when he woke up from the shock. Well, the next morning the host we put in the closet wakes up and climbs out looking confused. He walks toward the kitchen and the carpet is soaked. He has no idea why. He pours some water into a cup and opens the microwave to nuke it. He says, What the hell?... That's my fish, that's my fucking piranha. Someone nuked my fucking piranha! Well, it was time to go. When we got back to the dorm, we saw the first floor R.A. Chris. He asked how the party went. Joe said, Pretty good until this one girl tried to molest me. Chris looked confused, until we described how hideous the girl was. Well, wouldn't you know it five days later, a girl calls our room. She asks Joe to come down. This isn't the normal girl calling for Joe, this was odd. We walk down, and Rosemary has asked her friend to call our room. Rosemary came for an apology from Joe. She is sobbing and making a scene at the dorms entrance. It seems from Joe telling Chris his encounter, Chris thought it would be a good idea to invite Rosemary over to his fraternity, if she was so eager they would oblige. They walked her upstairs and their was about 5 of them in the closet and they stepped out and asked Rosemary to sleep with them. She started crying and ran out. So she thought Joe owed her an apology. She obviously didn't know Joe to well. Joe went on to berate her telling her what a stupid whore she was, and told her suicide was probably her best option in life. I lost count of the insults Joe heaped upon this sobbing mess, but needless to say, she never bothered him again.








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