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ETSU
MEMOIRS


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Here is your hat Allan


So one weekend Al’s girlfriend Dena and her two hot friends Shannon and
Ashley came up to ETSU and spent the weekend. Dena stays with Al in his room. Shannon & Ashley sleep in mine & Joe’s room. Like the gentlemen Joe and I are we give up our beds and agree to sleep in the floor. Well, I start having second thoughts on this and Dave Berens says, “Hey, you can sleep in my room. Just don’t sleep on my bed.” They have a couch in his room so I was all set. Plus, I think Dave had a thing for Shannon, not that I can blame him she is quite hot. It was late by the time I went to Dave’s room. His roommate, Mike the human Q-tip, was already asleep. I quietly go in… well as quietly as a Pat can go, and plop down on the couch. Mike has the high bunk, and the couch is between the two beds by the window. The next morning when Mike awoke I heard “O’ God!” I looked up and he was staring down at me in my near nakedness with a look of terror. I say morning sunshine, and turn as much as I could and attempt to fall back asleep. Mike jumps out of bed and runs down and finds Dave. Mike is an incoherent mumbling idiot at this point. Who breaks down to pointing to his room since words are escaping him. Joe & Dave go in to find me on the couch. Dave has a surprised look. Dave says, “Patrick I was just kidding when I told you to not sleep in my bed. Huh, go figure. Well, we all get up and go about to have fun at the Johnson City Mall.

The next part of the story happens Monday morning. The girls are still there, and the janitor returns. We didn’t know his real name so just called him Guido, because he looked like he could be “Italian”. It’s not like he was going to last more than a couple of weeks anyway for us to bother finding out his name. Well as you can guess, girls have to use the bathroom first thing Monday morning. I personally tried to get them to shower together, but they wouldn’t do it; Probably because I wanted to be part of it. Anyway. Al’s girlfriend needed to use the bathroom first, so Al sneaks her across the hallway to the restroom. While she’s in there. Al is supposed to guard the entrance, however with his ADD, he wanders back into the room, and Of course during his absence Guido the janitor decides to clean the restroom. When we hear the bathroom door close and no Dena, we fear the worse. Al goes in first to check things out and finds Dena locked in a stall, and Guido cleaning the urinals. Course with her in the stall one cant tell if she’s a guy or a girl. Al decides to enter the stall next to her to prevent Guido from getting to any of the stalls. Next to enter is Joe who goes up to one of the other urinals and proceeds to piss loudly while making off colored remarks about Guido’s heritage, in hope to drive off Guido. Next to enter is myself, Half naked and cursing loudly that I gotta piss and take a dump. Guido is apparently not swayed by any of this. So, next walks in Mack, with a hat in his hand. Apparently Mack had thought up a plan to give Dena a hat so she can put her hair up in it to disguise her. Yes Mack had an idea! Anyway. So Mack walks in and up to the stall with Al in it and yells with the worst William Shatner I’ve ever heard and says “Here is your hat, ………… Allan”. And slides the hat under the stall to Al. Al luckily thinking the way Mack thinks gives the hat to Dena. Now at this time all of us take cue from Mack and Block the entire bathroom. Now put yourself in Guido’s shoes. He turns around and with obvious fright sees, Mack, Pat and Joe smiling and standing in front of the only exit out of there. That’s when Al and Dena exit stage left and head back to the room. We don’t move until we here the door close. The girls leave a little later with no events. I believe Guido was gone by Friday never to return.

 

 


 

 
 

 

 


 

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