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Martial Arts Mayhem

Early on in my career at ETSU I decided that it would be a good thing to take a few martial arts classes. After all I had some prior experience with martial arts and figured it would be an easy A in PE. I started out with a course simply titled "Self Defense" in the ETSU catalog. This was a fairly easy class considering it was geared mainly towards females and I was the only guy in the class. I got to play the role of attacker most of the time. This class resulted in an easy A, that is if you think getting beaten up by a bunch of women every week easy. It was a good thing I made that A in that class it was the only thing that kept my GPA out of the negative numbers that semester. The following semester Joe, Al, and I decided to take Karate from the same dojo that was in charge of teaching the self-defense class. It turns out that there was another Campbell Countian in there, his name was Don Johnson and he was about as far from the Don Johnson of Miami Vice fame as you could get. We were actually nice to the guy, it wasn't like we had anything against him, and we just didn't want to take him to parties with us. It worked out pretty well since I think he was afraid to be around the Holy Terrors Of Taylor Hall. One day we were warming up for class, we lined up by belt rank and since Don had been doing it for a while he was a bit further up the line from the rest of us. We started out by doing some jumping jacks. All of a sudden we heard a noise that I can only describe as a large fart coming from Don's direction. I'm pretty sure the poor guy crapped on himself that day in class. I don't ever recall seeing him in there after that. A couple of weeks later Al was approached by an older student after class. The guy was talking to us pretty normal until he saw Al's necklace. He then got this distant look in his eyes and said, "Man, I had some beads just like that when I was in 'Nam." This freaked us all out, we didn't need some crazy guy running a black-op on our dorm to steal Al's beads. It was from that point on we decided just to stick to working out with the people we already knew and of course all the young sweeties in the class.








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