Martial Arts Mayhem
Early on in my career at ETSU
I decided that it would be a good thing to take a few martial
arts classes. After all I had some prior experience with martial
arts and figured it would be an easy A in PE. I started out
with a course simply titled "Self Defense" in the
ETSU catalog. This was a fairly easy class considering it was
geared mainly towards females and I was the only guy in the
class. I got to play the role of attacker most of the time.
This class resulted in an easy A, that is if you think getting
beaten up by a bunch of women every week easy. It was a good
thing I made that A in that class it was the only thing that
kept my GPA out of the negative numbers that semester. The following
semester Joe, Al, and I decided to take Karate from the same
dojo that was in charge of teaching the self-defense class.
It turns out that there was another Campbell Countian in there,
his name was Don Johnson and he was about as far from the Don
Johnson of Miami Vice fame as you could get. We were actually
nice to the guy, it wasn't like we had anything against him,
and we just didn't want to take him to parties with us. It worked
out pretty well since I think he was afraid to be around the
Holy Terrors Of Taylor Hall. One day we were warming up for
class, we lined up by belt rank and since Don had been doing
it for a while he was a bit further up the line from the rest
of us. We started out by doing some jumping jacks. All of a
sudden we heard a noise that I can only describe as a large
fart coming from Don's direction. I'm pretty sure the poor guy
crapped on himself that day in class. I don't ever recall seeing
him in there after that. A couple of weeks later Al was approached
by an older student after class. The guy was talking to us pretty
normal until he saw Al's necklace. He then got this distant
look in his eyes and said, "Man, I had some beads just
like that when I was in 'Nam." This freaked us all out,
we didn't need some crazy guy running a black-op on our dorm
to steal Al's beads. It was from that point on we decided just
to stick to working out with the people we already knew and
of course all the young sweeties in the class.
