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ETSU
MEMOIRS



Chad's Party


Well, now it get' seven more interesting. How can I describe Chad........Well, let me give you my first impression. David Montgomery had class with Chad and started hanging out with him. David Montgomery who could star in the "Ron Jeremy story". Ok, Ok, those who don't know who Ron Jeremy is go to the local "Adult" video store. Now back to our story. Well, one night Chad was to drunk to drive home. He literally had to be carried up to the third floor of Taylor. At one point after he had been lying on the bed for a few minutes he asked for some help. We were like what do you mean. He said I can't blink my eyes. He was so drunk he
forgot how to blink his eyes. Well, Dave Montgomery obliged him and slid his eye's down. Chad was quite grateful. Well this was my first impression of Chad. About 4 days later Chad had a party at his house, and what a party it was. Their was much food and liquor. It was me, Joe, Al, Dave Montgomery, A girl named Sherry,Chad, Chad's Mom, and Chad's sister, light bread (a Basset hound), Rodney Mullins,Dan Ensor, and a few other people. Well, the party got started off really well. Al and Dan Ensor was hitting on Chad's underage sister. I was hitting on most of the other women. Sherry was hitting on Chad. After a little while most of us were drunk. Joe....... Oh Gosh Joe was drinking something from a 32 oz. cup that was just disgusting. Yes, amazing I would think anything is disgusting. The cup had coffee grounds in it, it was almost hot to the touch, and the cup felt soft as if it were melting. I seriously think Drano was in it. Joe muttered somebody made it for him. Being the good friend I was I let Joe keep drinking, thinking the whole time about if your roommate dies do you get a 4.0 or not, or if this is just a rumor. Meanwhile Rodney Mullins is passed out in the floor drunk, and somebody had given Light Bread some Vodka. Well, Basset Hounds aren't the most coordinated dogs to begin with, and you should have seen her climbing on top of Rodney's face to hump him. He was so drunk he couldn't move her, he just kept screaming get off, get her off. Well, Light Bread seemed to be having quite the time on Rodney's face. Who am I to break up such a cute couple. David Montgomery had went to the living room to pass out, while Al, and Dan Ensor was still after Chad's sister. Which I don't blame them she was a cutie. And did I mention she was young. Well, Chad had disappeared, and several other people when we heard this horrendous sound. I make my way to the bathroom, and Joe's head had disappeared into the toilet. He was throwing up something black. Geesh, I had never seen puke like that before. It looked like he had lost a lung. Well I hated to disturb someone trying to hurl so I went to get something more to eat. By this time Chad's sister, Al, and Dan came to assist Joe. He seemed to be doing fine all by himself. At one point they got him out of the toilet and he fell sideways head first into the shower. The amazing thing is Joe didn't appear to be drunk, just amazingly sick. His weird metabolism or something. Well, after Joe appears he won't puke anymore they drag him to the living room where he moans. Then Joe say's the funniest thing I think I have ever heard any one say. Joe moans out, "Kill me, kill me now, I'll sign the papers and make it legal." I was at that moment pretty sure he must have drunk the Drano. I was thinking if it's true if your roommate dies you'll get a 4.0. Well Joe didn't die, but he was sick for the next few days. Needless to say Chad's party was a memorable party for all. Chad and Light Bread was the only two that got lucky. Well, I guess Joe was lucky he didn't die. But check back, and well see what we come up with next.


 

 

 

 


 


 

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